Messrs. Padfoot and Wormtail go to a Hen's Night
by AndromacheCassandra
Summary: Involves drunk women, stripping and various references to sex.


AUTHOR'S NOTE: No I don't know what we were on when we wrote this. Rowan is the main character in the very loooooooonnggg story we're writing and intend to post one day. DISCLAIMER:(Watch us disclaim.)  
  
We don't own Moony, Wormtail Padfoot, Prongs, Lily, Snape, Hogwarts, either pub or it's licencee, Dumbledore, Arabella and anyone else you recognise from HArry Potter. We are just boring for some fun and will return them straight away and undamaged (unless you count hungover.)  
  
Enjoy.  
  
  
  
  
  
James Potter looked at the slightly crumpled letter that he'd just recieved. Inside the envelope wasa single sheet of parchment. [pic]  
  
  
  
5 PM.  
  
Leave you and go to the Leaky Cauldron, because we knew you didn't really mean it when you said "Don't go to the Hen's Night, Padfoot."  
  
5.30 PM.  
  
Padfoot starts an argument with some Slytherins.  
  
Swapped witty banter with Snape and his band of slimy people. Well, I was witty.  
  
5.31 PM.  
  
For some unknown reason, Snape gets very angry.  
  
Padfoot started a fight!  
  
Actually, Wormtail, you started the fight went you spilt your pumpkin juice on them.  
  
6 PM.  
  
After our little disagreement we are escorted off the premises by Tom and go home.  
  
We were thrown out. And Padfoot's nose wouldn't stop bleeding. I took him home.  
  
6.35 PM.  
  
Get back and my wonderful, lovely girlfriend patches us up and feeds us. Then she tells us where the Hen's Party is.  
  
Rowan and Padfoot have a fight, and she throws his dinner at him. Tells us if we go to the Three Broomsticks, we'll spend the rest of our lives bald.  
  
6.45 PM.  
  
Kiss Rowan goodbye as she goes to the party.  
  
6.46 PM.  
  
We leave for the Three Broomsticks. Even though we promised Rowan we wouldn't.  
  
7 PM.  
  
Arriving at the Three Broomsticks,  
  
Via The Hogs Head,  
  
it's impossible to miss the girls.  
  
Lily's got a veil on and they're slightly drunk.  
  
As is Wormtail.  
  
7.30 PM  
  
Madame Rosmerta joins the party and we listen to the gossip. Kali has a new boyfriend.  
  
Orphelia's gotten engaged to a Swede.  
  
7.31 PM.  
  
Explain to Wormtail that Orphelia isn't marrying a vegetable.  
  
7.33 PM.  
  
Or someone transfigured into a vegetable.  
  
7.40 pm.  
  
Wormtail finally grasps that Orphelia's fiancé is, in fact, from Sweden. Meanwhile we've missed what they're talking about.  
  
8pm.  
  
Listen, inconspiculously, to the Girls talking about their nocturnal and amorous activities with their boyfriends.  
  
9pm.  
  
I now know far more than I ever wanted to about your sex-life, Prongs.  
  
10pm.  
  
And Padfoot's. Far, far, far more. Unlike Lily, Rowan is happy to share details.  
  
I'm just glad Wormtail has no sex life. I am already traumatized enough hearing about yours.  
  
10.30pm.  
  
We joinned the party and supplied entertainment.  
  
Apparently, Rowan and Arabella had booked a stripper but he didn't turn up. Padfoot is never to be allowed to drink again in my opinion; he's dancing on tables and taking his clothes off.  
  
10.35pm.  
  
I have most of my clothes back and am 25 galleons better off. I am also getting lucky tonight!  
  
11.35pm.  
  
Arrive home, where the party is carrying on. Wormtail is singing that lovely, refined song about the transfigured cauldron, the Slytherin's serpent and the Ravenclaw's Chamber of Secrets.  
  
11.36pm.  
  
Wormtail has things thrown at him by the neighbours who want him to shut up. I didn't know I had neighbours. Anyway go in to play "Truth or Dare."  
  
12.05am.  
  
Moony, you naughty, naughty, LUCKY boy!  
  
Orphelia told us everything!  
  
In school too! What would Professor Dumbledore say?  
  
2am.  
  
Padfoot and Rowan disappear.  
  
I told you I was getting lucky tonight!  
  
1.30pm.  
  
Wake up. Have hangover. Tell Rowan and she is less than supportive. Although that could be because I woke her up to tell her and she's hungover too.Venture forth in search of (a) fluids and (b) painkillers. Lily, Arabella and Orphelia are asleep in Rowan's bed.  
  
1.33pm.  
  
Find Wormtail and Kali asleep in the bath. They're naked. I wasn't the only one who got lucky last night then. Can't cope with the horror, go back to bed and tell Rowan. She doesn't appreicate it. Going back to sleep after I send this. I have no idea when people are leaving. Perhaps they're all moving in. That's how Rowan's still here. Or maybe they're all dead. Don't care. 


End file.
